Twisted Logic
by Nayru Elric
Summary: Other invaders marvel at how Urere can conquer five planets a week, with little to no help. On the contrary, his enemies, the ones he invades, decide to counterattack. When the Popular Invader is called onto the battlefield will he stand and fight or run away? And what will happen when he reveals some of the darkest secrets of his invadership? One shot.


**Urere Presents: Twisted Logic – de arimasu**

The Popular Invader was popular indeed. Strutting down the Main Street of Keron's Time Square, he barely had any room to strut at all, for his adoring fans left only a tight aisle for him. He strode to the tallest building in all of Keron, known as the Keron World Invasion Center. The dice-like segments spiraled into the dark, cerulean sky, adorned with blue, purple, and pink glass reflected with the brilliance it gave the setting star of their solar system.

As Urere came upon the entrance to the massive building, the hoarding crowd whooped and hooted to congratulate him on another successful day of invading.

The other Keronian invaders who worked at the building, whether they be grunt workers or high-class invaders like him, were all beginning to turn in for the night, aside from the janitors. The World Invasion Center's lobby was the grandest setup in all of Keron – if you wanted to become a world or even galaxy-renowned invader, this was the place to be. Crystal-clear floors, walls, and ceilings greeted those who entered, a fountain displaying the founder and/or maker of the building – the Demon Sergeant, Sergeant Keroro's father.

Urere took the steps to the elevator, being the only one to take the elevator going up. Beyond the glass casing, Urere could view the entire capital city. The elevator climbed higher and higher, darkness stretching slowly across the land as the lights of the buildings came alight. By the time he made it to the top, Urere found himself far above all else, above the star-shaped clouds, though there were none.

His office was the one in the center at the very top. Considerably small, relative to the size of the lobby and other suites he knew of, with entire living spaces of luxury. His contained little more than a desk, papers, various devices for tracking, calculating, sending messages, – basically, more advanced phones and computers split into many devices rather than one, – and a chair. The rest of the room was used for filing the papers of other invaders, as his frequent vacancy of the room left it as dead space. (Urere was no longer a part of the Keron army, but he still docked there every so often as a sort of pitstop.) They hadn't done this without Urere's consent, of course.

He plopped himself in the desk chair, and leaned back, gazing out the window to the studded yellow lights piercing the night. All other Keronians were returning to their homes – Urere had none. This was his home; this office here stacked with dusty, towering boxes. He couldn't afford to have a home, what with all of the distress he caused and would cause in future invasions. It was plausible that one of his enemies would target his home and anyone else he was tied to and do things – horrible things – to them.

Urere's universal space phone buzzed, distracting him from the dreariness of his thoughts. At first, he wasn't going to answer it – though he had jet lag from the last planet he'd invaded and was in no mood to sleep. The caller ID read a number he was unfamiliar with. This intrigued him. Might as well see which lame solicitor was trying to sell him some product to make him as great of an invader as… well… himself, because he was going to be awake for quite some time anyway.

He pressed the answer button. "Hello?"

For a moment, there was static. Then, a low voice mumbled something almost incoherent. "Urere, Popular Invader… We have prepared for many years. Come and find us."

Urere scoffed, saying, "How did you get this number? Are you prank callers? I was sure to block all –"

"Our sector has been sent to you via messenger. If you're unafraid to face your fears, we will be expecting you." The mystery caller hung up the phone.

Urere took it as nothing, – placing his phone down on his desk and sighing, – until a knock disturbed his bewildered mind. "The door's unlocked."

An orange Keronian janitor popped his head in. "Excuse me, Urere-san, but I have a message for you."

_"Our sector has been sent to you via messenger."_ Urere stiffened. Were they not prank callers after all? "Who's it from?"

The messenger bobbed his head in apology. "Again, I'm sorry, Urere-san, but it doesn't say." He outstretched the white sheet of paper to Urere, coming forward. "The only thing on it were these coordinates."

Urere sat back in his seat, releasing a breath. _Of course._

"But, I've never heard of this sector before," the janitor said, examining the page in his hand, broom in the other.

"The Plazroid Sector," Urere said, turning his chair toward the window. "Even Vipers won't go there. It's said to be home to beings of vile and cruel nature, though legend says no one's lived to tell the tale, so how would they know that, I wonder?"

Both Urere and the janitor thought on that while silently, Urere decided to meet this faceless intruder, and leave before morning.

* * *

Speeding toward some unseen solar system, he traveled solo in a small but sturdy space cruiser. If it was an invasion this unknown perpetrator wanted, it was an invasion he would get. And Urere was not about to sacrifice his pride to ensure the safety of himself. He never invaded in a group, such as in a platoon like the Keron Army. No, that was too gaudy for him. Team members in a platoon wouldn't share his ideals, and might thwart his plans that would lead to their destruction rather than world conquer.

The Plazroid Sector resided within the thickest cloud of a neon green nebula. Usually, Urere preferred to travel by wormhole, but the nebula was too thick for one to navigate with the precision needed to land himself on the correct planet, especially since he knew not where it was, nor had he been there before. He did chart a transport wormhole as close as possible as a marker.

Urere was about to scout out which of the five planets in the solar system the coordinates had directed to exactly, but his cruiser shuddered and moaned as another caught him in its gravity pull. The foreign spaceship orbited around the fourth planet from the pearly-white star – a red and blue mass of gas, and the second to last planet in the solar system. Urere yanked on the wheel of his space cruiser as fervently as ever, in the opposite direction of the ship gaining ground – or rather, space – on him. Despite having one of the highest-class cruisers in the galaxy, the enemy ship's mass was too great for him to be able to pull away.

The aliens docked him in a hanger that was small relative to the size of the ship as a whole. Controls smoking, Urere dared not move from his seat. The lights in the hanger were cut off at the same time his ship's were. _They must've cut it off the power themselves,_ Urere thought, rotating in the chair of his crippled cruiser. The dim, red emergency lights _plicked_ on. He dug through the back closet, near the entrance and exit of the ship. If these new creatures were his enemies, then he wouldn't face them unarmed.

Urere was an overly organized invader, yes. And popular, yes. The one thing he was not, was a fighter. He was not trained well in the ways of hand-to-hand combat, so without a weapon he'd already be surrendering to them. He'd only end up flailing helplessly and humiliating himself in front of those he had been assigned to conquer. Urere had, however, been trained what to do in situations like this, when he'd been with the Keron Army: Be diplomatic until you find an opening to stab them in the back.

The sliding-panel doorway of the ship opened. Still without any weapon, Urere stared deep into the darkness, seeing nothing as he backed away. Then something shifted.

"Come with us if you want to meet our leader."

Meet their leader? Already? Urere had expected there to be a breakout of battle the moment he got on board. "Do I have your word that you won't assault me as soon as I get off?" Urere asked severely. He hadn't been in this stressful of a situation since his days in military camp – which was when he'd broken off from Keron and adapted his own methods.

The being tilted forward, as if in a bow. "Of course. We wouldn't be quite so unfair."

Urere couldn't see anything of the aliens due to the darkness, but as he emerged from his space cruiser, apprehensive, he could tell they were much taller than him and walked on two legs like him. But they made such noise with each trudging step against the cold, tiled floor that Urere wondered how he could have not have heard them before. With such noise, he could walk right between the seven or so guiding him to their so-called leader, even in the darkness. The sound of a panel door told him they had entered a hallway, and with a couple of turns found themselves in another dark room with one light shining no more than twenty feet in front of him.

"Step into the light," one of them commanded. Urere was about to object, when he continued, "Our leader is just beyond it."

Compared to the aliens, Urere's feet made no sound at all as he made his way to the circle of light, the only light in the room. The silence and tension in the air was palpable, so each step seemed like decades to each of them. Once he reached the light, it was so quiet a pin could have been heard if dropped.

"So you actually came," said a booming voice, fixating Urere to it – though he saw the usual darkness, the obvious "leader" had said. Actually, now that Urere squinted harder, he could see the figure of the leader sitting in a chair, which he leaned back in to look Urere over. The others, standing around him, all fidgeted anxiously, swaying from side to side.

"Were you the ones who sent me those coordinates?" he asked, his voice slightly cracked. A stupid question, but just to confirm.

"We are," said the leader.

"I am inclined to ask why," Urere said, eating up all he could of the leader's and other aliens' movements in the shadows.

"Ah, yes. I guess you are allowed to know that," said the leader. "We have been watching you for quite some time." A hologram appeared above Urere, marking his success when he began to get famous, at the time, still connected to the Keron Army. "Urere, the Popular Invader, conquering five planets a week while going against what your own team members wanted, using methods the Keron Army has never seen before. Successful, yes, but dangerous, and against Keronian ways." A stinking feeling began to make way in Urere's stomach. This was bad. How did they know so much about him? Where were they going with this? "You didn't want to be a part of the violence and mishap, so you broke off all ties with everyone you knew, and made invasions on your own." Here, the hologram of Keron showed Urere's ship flying away from it, and settling on another planet. Abruptly, it shut off. The leader scooted forward in his chair, leaning so close that Urere could see the features of his face – a squished snout, beady eyes, pointed ears on each side of his head, and a patch of matted fur on the top.

"You wanted to be different from the Keron Army," he said, "but you couldn't stop invading. Not when that was all you had left, when you'd left everything else behind. Why keep going? Since you are no longer a part of them, wouldn't it all be pointless to you?"

So they were curious. Huh. That was unexpected. Had they not wanted to capture and kill him after all? Then again, Urere wasn't done here yet. He still had to answer their question, and maybe, depending on if they liked it or not, they'd let him live. He puffed, letting out a sigh. Urere had never been one to lie, and he wouldn't now, because something told him it was highly likely they'd be able to tell, and they _would_ do something horrible to him if he wasn't careful.

"I invade not because I feel like I have to," Urere said, "or because it's only natural. I do it because I want to."

The leader was surprised – Urere could tell it by how round his beady eyes went. "What?"

"Yeah, just think," he went on, gaining confidence. "In a couple hundred, thousand, or even millions of years, it won't be Keronians who invade. It'll be some other race who lived us out, or destroyed us, even. It could happen much later in time or, possibly tomorrow for all I know. And with that, our way of life will die, and the new traditions of the new invaders will be the ones to prevail. They'll probably take over all the planets we've conquered instead, and conquer even _more_ planets. It'll go on like this forever, evolving and evolving until one group of invaders rules the entire galaxy. Maybe the entire constellation of galaxies, or the universe."

"Y-you can't be serious," the leader said, retreating from Urere as far as he could go on his chair. So did his disciples, in a circle around Urere. They all shied away from him.

"I'm being completely serious," Urere said. "Ideally, Keron's reign won't last forever. And by my calculations, not very much longer at all in comparison to the age of the universe. That's why I am going to play a neutral game in case that day come's during my generation. There's no guarantee it'll work, but I would hate to be controlled when deep in my ancestry we've been the ones to control. Can you see the irony?"

"Rogues like you should learn to keep quiet," someone said, a higher voice, female, in the group around him.

"He can't be trusted, he already knows!" cried another – male.

"What should we do?"

"We never expected someone as sophisticated as this!"

The babble around him grew to a roar, and Urere knew it was no longer safe for him there. One of them took a swipe at him. And then another. They all began to crowd around him, in the light, where Urere could fully see them. The leader's calls to calm them down left in the background, like one movie trying to overlap a million others. Their hands started slashing at him again, and then, blackness.

* * *

_The bumpy rhythm of an ancient spaceship,_ was the first thing to cross Urere's mind. But he wasn't on a spaceship. He was slung over one of the aliens' shoulders, being carried down one of their pitch-black hallways. His body ached in a way it never had before.

"Are they still behind us?"

"I don't know."

His captors were unaware of his awakening. That was good. He needed to find a way to get out of their grasps. Fast.

Another alien hopped from somewhere above and knocked out the others before either of them, or Urere, could even register the event. Now in this new alien's arms, he wriggled against its grip to try and escape.

"It's all right," it said, jogging. A female's voice. "I'll help you. You don't need to worry. I'll get you back to your ship."

Urere stopped wriggling and gazed hard to see her face. All he could make out was long, tango-pink hair and sharp green eyes. Soon enough, they ended back up at the large hanger, where his spaceship lay waiting. She placed Urere on the landing platform where he could make his way inside.

"There, you should be able to get if you turn your ship on. I was sure to take out the ship's gravity suction before I retrieved you, so you won't have to worry about that." A clang on the other side of the doorway to the hanger, which she must have blocked, startled both of them. But the door stuck. "Now hurry, and go," she said, urging Urere into the ship.

"Wait, I must know why you are helping me," Urere said, though he couldn't argue. "The others wanted me dead – my own race probably envies me and get irritated when I interfere with the invasions of those from their army. Why would you care about my well-being when I said I wanted to obliterate all life?"

She smiled, – quite a pretty smile, – her face coming into the red emergency lights of his cruiser for him to see. "Once, another Keronian, like you, taught me that you should help others, despite the wrongdoings they've committed. If you believe in them, that's reason enough. I have never forgotten him."

Urere was going to ask her name, but the door gave way and she screamed, "Go!"

He took up the controls in his ship, the lights coming on and the tingling revving of an engine came online. Urere steered the ship out of the hanger as the unknown alien woman clicked on the lights and opened the door for him. He caught one more glimpse of her before he sped out of the gas planet's atmosphere as fast as possible, relieved and glad.

Urere rubbed his indigo-colored skin, marred with dirt bruises, far out of the Plazroid Sector and neon-green nebula by now. Somehow, he did not find it mere coincidence that he and that alien woman met.

Perhaps they'd meet again someday, and perhaps he'd get to meet the one she mentioned, who showed her to stand up for her beliefs, even if no one agrees with them.

* * *

**Well, does anyone know who this "mystery woman" is that helped Urere out? Anyone? Anyone? I won't say to keep the mischief rolling, but I will tell you that she only made one appearance, as Urere did, except twice. (He might return, but from what I've watched, it doesn't look like it.) I guess I like writing about abstract characters sometimes, eh heh. ^^;**

**There wasn't a selection for Urere in the character list, so I hope you all remember who he is~! The Popular Invader is one of my favorites, so I had to give him a fanfic to do him justice! Please be sure to give me feedback! Arigato~!**


End file.
